Asean Scholarships

Sigh...result's gonna be out soon, probably in one or two weeks time. Anyway, my dad saw this Asean FScholarship form in the papers and asked me to apply. This is for their second intake in May. The reason why I didnt want to apply for the first intake in January is because...cause.. I'm not good enough for it !! There's probably only a 0.01% chance of them accepting me. I really do suck. I have no co-curricular achievements whatsoever. Anyway, just apply for fun lor. See can get or not.

But, enclosed with my application, I need to include a curriculum Vitae. I've already prepared one, but my printer's down. Can anyone help me print it ?? Pleasee.... I'd really appreciate it. You can e-mail me or msg me through MSN Messenger, or send a msg through Friendster or tag or whatever...

For those who wanna try their luck
the form is available in The Star 26th February 2005
or click here to their website

The Difference

Wanna know the difference between a male orgasm and a female orgasm ?

Click here.

Come on, try it.
Don't be shy.

Hahahahaha

Do Not Touch

Chap Goh Meh for me this year was unlike previous years, somewhat weird and depressing. I had to wake up as early as 9.30 am ! (Lol.. is that considered early ? Anyway, I slept at 5am the previous night after watching the first half of Real vs Juventus) because I had to go to some kind of erm.. temple.

I don't mind going to temples when I'm the only visitor so that God can pay all the attention to one and only ME . But when I arrived there at 11.30, the place was swarming with fat aunties who simply can't wait to pray. Anyway, my mood brightened up a little as I spotted a cute gal wearing a sleeveless top with the words " Do Not Touch" right across her brea..I mean chest. Do temples really allow such clothes ?!?

However, the main reason I was there is because I'm 19 (Chinese Age). And according to those guys at the temples, the age that ends with 9, e.g. 9, 19, 29, 39, 49,....999, 1009..etc is a very sensitive moment and must seek "blessing" from the gods. Yeah right. So we start with this ridiculous ritual where we (around 12 of us) had to walk in a huge circle while praying. Guess what, we walked around the circle 9 times ( Is that a coincidence ?) Worse was still to come, as after that, we all had to kneel down in front of the altar and then be sprinkled with "holy water". My goodness....

After the 'ritual' I look foward to the Milan match. Hopefully we could nick a victory against a Milan side deprived of Shevchenko. We played quite well actually, but they played better. Their passing were simply too good to be true. Keane was simply outclassed. But we could have finished 0-0 if Carroll could just catch the damn ball properly !! Anyway, I still prefer him to the more nervous-looking Howard.

So much for the excitement. At least Barca won. Oh ya.. the oranges from the temple was sweet. But never eat them at 4am in the morning. It hurts. Honest.

3 horny bastards

Once upon a time 3 horny bastards and 3 sexy chicks had to go on a trip from KL to Penang. They’ve decided to take the train. At the station, the 3 horny bastards bought three tickets, but noticed that the sexy chicks only paid for one. They inquired the chicks for the strange behavior, and the answer was “You’ll know later”

All six of them boarded the train. The KTM train started moving. Moments later, when sensing the conductor approaching their cart, the three sexy chicks went into the toilet. The conductor came, and verified everyone’s tickets, including the 3 horny bastards, and then knocked on the toilet door. “Ticket please.” Then, one of the chicks handed out the single ticket they had from behind the door. It was verified, and then the conductor left. “Nice trick, we shall do that on the way back.” said the 3 horny bastards.

After their fruitful and foodful trip up north. It was time to head back to KL.
At the train station, having learnt from the wisdom from the sexy chicks, the horny bastards wisely bought only a single ticket for all 3 of them. The sexy chicks, however, went one step ahead and didn’t even buy any ticket. “Dude, you girls don’t even get a ticket this time?” asked the curious bastards. “You’ll know later.” was again the answer from the chicks.

They went on the train, and before the conductor came, the 3 horny bastards went into the one toilet, with their smiling face and the great sense of euphoria knowing they were going to pull this out. The sexy chicks went into another toilet in the same cart. Right when the conductor was at the next cart, one of the sexy chick came approached the toilet where the 3 horny bastards were hiding and knocked “Ticket check please,” imitating the conductor.A hand appeared from behind the door and happily handed the chick their only ticket.

Ruud: 'United for life'

*Note - This article is taken from Soccernet


United For Life !

Ruud van Nistelrooy has indicated he would love to spend the rest of his career at Old Trafford.
The Manchester United striker is in line to return to the side for the first time since November on Saturday in the FA Cup against Everton after recovering from an Achilles injury.

Van Nistelrooy says he has has been devoted to the club since the day he joined from PSV Eindhoven in a £19million move. 'I feel at home in a place with such strong traditions. I don't see why I shouldn't spend the rest of my playing days here,' he said. 'The moment I signed my five-year contract, the chairman at the time, Martin Edwards, took me to the boardroom where a directors' meeting was in progress. '`Gentlemen,' he said when he opened the door, `may I present to you our new centre-forward, Ruud Van Nistelrooy.' They all stood and congratulated me. 'I shook hands with all of them, Sir Bobby Charlton last of all. When he said: `Glad you're finally here, son', I got goose bumps all over my body.'

Van Nistelrooy remains overwhelmed at the size of the club and the scale of their fan base. 'When I drive down the road to Old Trafford, between two church towers in the distance, I can already see the two biggest stands. When I close my eyes, I can recall that mental picture no matter where I am,' he told Soccer Digest magazine. 'I turn into Sir Matt Busby Way and cross the square full of fans. Whenever a player's car passes, the square bubbles with excitement. 'People faint just because they'd seen a Manchester United player in the flesh. 'I saw life-size posters of myself in newspapers and I had not even played a single game for the club. 'The size of this club is incomprehensible.'

Despite having a phenomonal scoring record for United - 122 goals, 36 of them in 37 European appearances - Van Nistelrooy refuses to rest on his laurels. 'Giving less then 100 per cent is not really an option for me, ' he said.
'As the years have gone by, I have started to take football more and more seriously. I try to do the maximum for every match. 'I work hard, I train hard and I prepare myself in detail for every game. 'I do everything to create the perfect circumstances to perform as well as possible. 'I have that same drive every time. I never for a minute think things will happen naturally. 'Nothing comes naturally to me. I do not belong in that exceptional class of player that can operate occasionally at less than 100 per cent. I know I would not get away with that.'

Van Nistelrooy credits Dutch master Ruud Gullit for improving his game. 'When I was younger, I tended to want to score beautiful goals,' he said. 'But a funny thing happened. Ruud Gullit did his coaching apprenticeship at one of my former clubs, Heerenveen, when I was playing there. 'I remember lobbing a shot that hit the crossbar and proudly looked at Gullit: `Nice one, eh?' 'All he said was: `It certainly was nice, but it should have gone in.' Although it was simple, he was right - he was absolutely right.'

Eighteen

Today will be my 6573th on this planet. Tomorrow will be my 6574th. No real significance, those numbers may seem, but co-incidently, my 6574th day here will also be my 18th year since the day i was born. That makes tomorow my.....birthday !

How time flies.

18 is supposed to be a legal age in Malaysia. You can own a credit card, watch movies with the 18-** ratings, drive, its the legal age to get drunk, etc. etc. Oh ya. this is also the age where if you kill someone, you will be hanged. Haha.

Somehow, I feel I have not yet deserve to reach this age. I have not reached the level of maturity that most 18-yr olds have. So I have come up with a resolution list which I had intend to start at the beginning of the year. But then again, I never make resolutions on the 1st January. Strangely, I treat 1st of Jan as another usual day. I don't celebrate it, or go to countdowns whatsoever. It is only during Chinese New Year, or my birthday (or most of the time, in between, since the 2 dates are quite close to each other) where I really feel a year has passed.

Ok, without further ado, here's my resolution :

1. To be more responsible & less lazy - I have always been considered as irresponsible, often disregarding my responsibilties and duties, and being indifferent towards commitment. Well, I hope to change.

2. To be more hygenic - Erm, my mom always says that I am not hygenic enough. So I'll try to improve on that.

3. To be less NABO (No action talk only) - One of my BIGGEST weakness..sigh.. that will take hard work

4. To cool down my hot-head - Since i was born, there has always been a BIG question mark over my temperament. I admit it.

5. Finally, to start working hard to achieve my mid-term ambition - To own an my own place (prob an apartment) by 2010. I'll be 23 then. (not really own lar..rent also can)

Sigh.. as I look back at this list, I wonder whether I'll really live up to it.

Happy New Year !

Happy New Year !!

This year's celebrations was different compared to the previous years. Since I was born till I was 11, the reunion dinners and the new year countdown was held at my grandfather's home in Ujong Pasir, Malacca. But since my grandpa's health worsens, the celebrations and dinner was held at my auntie's house in Ayer Keroh, also Malacca. All his sons, daughters, and grandchildren would gather and have a feast. Its quite interesting, because, all my 3 aunties live in the very same street !

However, last year, my grandfather was affected by stroke, and had to be put into a nursing home specially for stroke patients. So this year, my uncle who lives in Klang volunteered to bring my grandfather back. So this year's celebrations was quite drab, with only 2 families involved.

But so far, the Year of the Rooster has so far been a very generous one for me. My aunties and uncles have surprisingly doubled the amount inside those cute red packets. On the stroke of midnight, my uncle, who was the host of the reunion dinner, gave me RM ## instead of RM # last year (* figures are undisclosed). The next day, my parents gave RM ###### ; thats triple of last year's amount.

To top it up, even my auntie in Malacca, who usually gives the highest amount among all of my uncles and aunties from my dad's side, kept up with the trend and double her efforts ! Anyway, what surprised me the most is my cousin, who is not married suddenly popped up with an angpow with RM 10 inside ! My goodness !

So God of Prosperity, keep up the good work !

Tubes and Sniffing in the Fitting Room

Phew ! For the last 2 days , I've been huffing and puffing working at Linen & Things KL PLaza for nearly 20 hours ! I managed to re-arrange my tuition schedule in order to earn some extra cash (which I've been lacking lately). Angpows has always been considered a great source of income but the figure seems to decrease as each year passes.

Strangely, there were many tourists visiting Malaysia at this time of the year. I met all sorts of people strechting from Canada to Sri Langka to Australia to Japan. There was this middle-aged lady and her friend from Japan who wanted to try a 20cm sleeveless tube ! Although I didnt think it suited her, I still said she looked young and sexy after she emerged from the fitting room showing off her wrinkled and sagging skin. In the end, sense overpowered her and she didnt buy that tube.

I was particularly grateful to the 2 very kind ladies from Sri Langka, who bought linen blouses worth over RM 700. They seem to love the blouses so much they bought it even though their size wasnt available. They even wished me "Have a pleasent and prosperous Chinese New Year" . I didnt know people in Sri Langka knew about Chinese New Year.

Patience is one of my lesser attributes and I hate waiting. But 2 days ago, there was a customer, who said she was in a hurry because her husband is waiting for her at the hotel at 7pm. ( The clock was reading 7.10) However, I still persuaded her to try even more blouses in order to generate more sales. It worked, she bought another blouse, but the time then was already 7.35 and I suppose she's going to get a toungue lashing from her husband.. all my fault.

In another case, there was this customer who was trying a blouse in a fitting room. After a few mins, I could her sniffing. I wonder if she was crying because her blouse couldnt fit , or she's too fat, or she's too ugly, or she's both fat & ugly, or her husband had an affair, or because its a combo of her husband left her because she's too ugly and the blouse couldnt fit because she's too fat. Haha

I was too tired and couldnt keep my eyes awake to watch the match against Birmingham which thankfully they won 2-0. Hope City could do us a favour and beat Chelsea !!

Deleted Spider-Man 2 Script ( Part 2 )

Due to great response from Part 1, I've decided to post Part 2. Enjoy !

INT. Harry Osborn's home.

Harry: I want you to kill Spider-Man.
Dr Octopus: Funny you should mention it, but I had the same idea.
Harry: Good, so you'll do it?
Dr Octopus: Yes, but for a price.
Harry: Some gloves?
Dr Octopus: Is that a joke?
Harry: Sort of.
Dr Octopus: Well, stop it.
Harry: What do you want, then?
Dr Octopus: I want some implausibilium. It's the element that powers my cold fusion device.
Harry: Implausibilium?
Dr Octopus: Yes. And I know you have loads of it.
Harry: Okay, it's a deal.
Dr Octopus: Great.
Harry: Let me call my lawyers and my accountant, and we can have the contract done by next Thursday.
Dr Octopus: What?
Harry: Well, we're going to need some sort of contract.
Dr Octopus: Contract?
Harry: My payment of implausibilium for your services as a Spider-Man killer. We need to work out the fine print.
Dr Octopus: You're kidding.
Harry: Hell, no. If I don't get delivery of one webslinger in exchange for the material, I'm suing you.
Dr Octopus: Excuse me, but have you gone mad?
Harry: What do you think this is, a cartoon? We're entering into a binding, legal agreement and I want to tie up any loopholes.
Dr Octopus: You're a nutter.
Harry: Look, this is just how my dad taught me to conduct business.
Dr Octopus: Oh, yes, your very stable and rational dad.
Harry: What?
Dr Octopus: Think about it, dimwit.
Harry: Eh?
Dr Octopus: Your dad died around the same time that no-one saw the Green Goblin any more?
Harry: Yes.
Dr Octopus: You never see Peter Parker and Spider-Man in the same room at the same time?
Harry: Right.
Dr Octopus: Spider-Man is incredibly interested in Mary Jane Watson, whom the Green Goblin captures and whom Peter loves?
Harry: Check on all three there.
Dr Octopus: Do the math, bonehead.
Harry: You mean… it can't be… my father was Spider-Man?
Dr Octopus: Try again.
Harry: Peter was the Green Goblin?
Dr Octopus: Third time's the charm.
Harry: My dad was the Green Goblin?
Dr Octopus: Bingo. Now give me the implausibilium and I'll be on my way.
Harry: How do I know you'll bring Spider-Man to me?
Dr Octopus: You don't, but I have eight limbs and a grudge, so you should be fine.
Harry: 'k.
Dr Octopus: And, kid…
Harry: Yes.
Dr Octopus: Try to use your brain a bit more. The James Dean look is good, but you're going to need some smarts at some point.
Harry: Um, thanks.

Deleted Script From SpiderMan 2 ( Part 1 )

EXT. New York streets
Dr Octopus: I'm afraid I have to kill you.
Spider-Man: Oh.
Dr Octopus: So I'm going to use Mary-Jane as a lure.
Spider-Man: Again?
Dr Octopus: What?
Spider-Man: That's what the Green Goblin did.
Dr Octopus: Really?
Spider-Man: Yeah. You're such a copycat.
Dr Octopus: Okay, okay. Give me a second here.
Spider-Man: Take your time.
Dr Octopus: Thanks. Right, got it. I'm going to hijack an elevated train.
Spider-Man: What?
Dr Octopus: Elevated train. Deal with that one, big guy.
Spider-Man: I hate to point this out, but…
Dr Octopus: What?
Spider-Man: New York doesn't have an L.
Dr Octopus: There's an elevated section in Queens.
Spider-Man: You think I'm going into Queens?
Dr Octopus: Fair point.
Spider-Man: Thank you.
Dr Octopus: Well, I like the idea, so I'm hijacking one.
Spider-Man: You mean we have to go to Chicago?
Dr Octopus: Why not?
Spider-Man: Well, it's quite a way.
Dr Octopus: Do you want a climactic battle sequence or not?
Spider-Man: I suppose.
Dr Octopus: Don't get sulky.
Spider-Man: I'm not, I just think that it's a bad idea.
Dr Octopus: I'm the bad guy, so I get to decide.
Spider-Man: Why do you always decide?
Dr Octopus: Because.
Spider-Man: Because what?
Dr Octopus: Because I have more limbs. Ha.
Spider-Man: I'm a spider, you idiot.
Dr Octopus: Oh.
Spider-Man: In fact, because I'm Spider-Man, that means I have more limbs. Eight plus four.
Dr Octopus: No way, you can't count your human ones as well, I didn't. That's cheating.
Spider-Man: Okay, okay. Eight each.
Dr Octopus: Fair enough.
Spider-Man: We don't really have to go to Chicago, do we?
Dr Octopus: It's where they filmed The Fugitive.
Spider-Man: Oh, that's a fun movie.
Dr Octopus: Or we could just kick the hell out of each other on the sides of buildings.
Spider-Man: Yeah, let's go with that one.
Dr Octopus: Okay, you first.
Spider-Man: No, I insist, after you.

United 4 - 2 Arsenal

The scoreboard says it all

I forced myself to sleep early last night ( 12am ) just to be able to wake up at 4am to watch the thriller at Highbury. And what a thriller it was. The match threatened to boil over even before the kick-off with a bust-up between Keane and Vieira. Thankfully, that did not spill over into the match.

Arsenal, being the home team, took the early initiative and didn't allow us any space to settle down. They were rewarded with a rather "soft goal" scored by Patrick Vieira in the 8th minute from a corner. Vieira didn't even have to jump ! Then, a mistake by Campbell, an impressive cross by Scholes, a sumptuous flick-on by Rooney and a deflected shot by Giggs brought us the equaliser.


Bye-bye Cygan !
At this stage, I was confident that we would go on to score the winner. But somehow, Arsenal took the lead again through Bergkamp ( who I thought was Arse's best player of the day ), firing low through Carroll's legs.Half-time, the score was 2-1 to the Arsenal.



Thats 2-2 !

I still wasn't worried because I knew, we had the spirit and character to come back from being a goal down. Ronaldo's goal 10 minutes after half-time proved me right. Then, 4 minutes later, in a scene exactly like in FIFA 2005, ( where I always go head-to-head with my bro ), Almunia felt that the goal-mouth was too boring and decided to take a walk to his left-hand side. Sensing the wonderful oppurtunity, Giggs floated in the cross and was easily tapped-in to the empty net from 3 inches out by Ronaldo. I jumped for joy not only because we are in the lead but the simplicity of the goal resembles the one I use to score against my brother in FIFA 2005.


Hey, we're winning !

Silvestre's moment of madness came when he uncharacteristically shoved Bergkamp into the ground an headbutted Ljungberg which earned him a straight red card. Even Queiroz and Fergie agreed that the red card was deserved.
Left with only 10 men, Arsenal decided to camp in our half, desperately looking for the equaliser.

Unguarded at the back, we finally delivered the final blow in the 88th minute when John O'Shea chipped the most of sublime of chips, curling the ball slowly into the North Bank goal.

4-2, this is certainly the most satisfying victory I've ever experienced. Thrashing and outplaying Arsenal in their own ground.